Someone please tell me why I took a bunch of hard classes this year...? Yeah, so everything's just whatever, I guess. Except for the fact that our first football game SUCKED, due to the fucking retarted announcers. Anyways, yeah. That was interesting... Ahahha, I can still hear Addison, "*Looks up and down the line* What the hell?! *Turns around the the fakest smile you've ever seen*" Ahahaha, mann, that still gets me everytime I think about it. So yeah, that was that. And for the record, fuck guys. = ] They need to go die in a hole... All except Hayden. Because he is mi amor and is basically fucking amazing. And I've actually been able to talk to him, like, almost every day this week. Which helps a lot... Only we know why. Ahaha. So yeah. It's been really hard for me these past few weeks. I hate seeing him in the halls, and I hate thinking about him. I hate writing about him, because then I can't see what I'm writing because I'm crying. And I hate it. And I hate the fact that you've changed... That's what hurts the most. But yeah. This song is made for me right now: I'm frightened at night and the wind has a roar
It seeps through the hall and from under the door
Like the shit that was said
I can't take it that well
I give and I give and I give and I give and I'm still
Lost and hurt and bone thin from the love that's been starved
I know it got close but I'm sure it's too far
From the point of suspense, we know it should be
The end of that part of our favorite movie
When the guy grabs the girl and gives her his hand
Says take me away from this torturous land
Cause the grave is set up, the hole that I dug
I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave you my trust
Like the time that we kissed and you gave me a lie
To add to the scene you pretended to cry
But I'm here and I'm cool, the way that it is
Just give me a chance and I'll try to forgive
And I don't know
And I can't guess
If it's gonna be OK
But now my last wish
Is that you do this with me
Kiss me here and hold my hand
Let me feel like I'm the only one
I know you can
Won't you do it for me now
I've really had it with the rain of the tears
The predictable storm that has come every year
And it sneaks in from shore with a bat in its hand
I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I can't
You're a thief and a witch but I love you to death
You steal my heart and curse under your breath
But the one thing that I can most willingly prove
That when you are gone I'll be fine without you
And I don't know
And I can't guess
If it's gonna be OK
But now my last wish
Is that you do this with me
Kiss me here and hold my hand
Let me feel like I'm the only one
I know you can
Won't you do it for me now?
Now just hold on, hold on to me
Hold on, hold on to me Hold on, hold on to me Hold on, hold on to me Hold on, hold on to me Hold on, hold on to me Hold on, hold on to me Hold on, hold on to me Hold on, hold on to me. 
And now here are a few things that I've written w/inthe past couple of weeks... Warning! Some of this might be too corny for some viewers! I've tried to forget it all. What you said. What you didn't have to say. I never thought I'd fall. I've tried talking. I've tried to walk. I just can't bring myself to leave, What I thought we'd always be. I thought it was good. I knew we would be great. But everthing has changed. Now I can't stand this feeling of hate. 
And here's another one. Today I said goodbye to you and your words. I thought I knew you. I thought I could control what would happen... It was the worst feeling when it showed up on the screen. My breath left my body, and I felt weak. I never saw it coming, never thought this would happen. I let my gaurd down and let you in. I thought you would be different, but what they said was true. I should have listened, but your eyes hypnotized my heart. You were so good at that. You always knew just what to say to keep me hanging on your every word. I loved that. It made me feel spacial... Like what you would say next would bring me closer to you. I found out that is was just a trick. You played me so well. It was like you knew what I wanted you to say. Come to find out, it was me I wanted to hear it from. 
And one more, my favorite. I miss who you used to be. It sucks that you've changed. To me, you seemed perfect. Like every little flaw I had, you would help me fix. I never thought I'd be ok, but then I met you. I saw something in you that I didn't see in anyone else. So I took a chance and trusted you. I let you have my heart, and you knew. The bad part is you broke it, and when I took it back, you kept a piece. So then when it started to heal, there was that little part of me that you kept, that was left with you... You still have it. 
| 
Love you girllll. Ohh, I forgot!! I miss dance like C-R-A-Z-Y!!!!!! So I think I'm going to start going back to Schrader's once or twice a week. So yeah.
